


Just a Normal Day

by Little_Lottie (tfwatson), tfwatson



Series: Reflections Verse [1]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nixon/Dobie, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:53:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4140204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfwatson/pseuds/Little_Lottie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfwatson/pseuds/tfwatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a normal day before the war, Dick Winters would call himself an optimist. But by anyone’s standards this has been a colossally bad day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Normal Day

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first fic in this fandom. Massive thanks to Prof Cricket for beta-ing  
> Swing by and say hi to me on Tumblr :) little-lottie.tumblr.com

On a normal day before the war, Dick Winters would call himself an optimist. Since arriving on European soil he’s discovered that he’s a bit of a pragmatist, too. Prepare, analyze, act, reflect: next set of orders, please. It’s how he’s coped with every form of hell they've encountered so far. But being optimistic or pragmatic can't help him here. By anyone’s standards this has been a colossally bad day.

  
First, he’s forced to drag Nix out of bed, when really all he wants to do is crawl under the covers with him. But Dick’s been hiding that particular urge for years, so instead he pats Nix on the waist, ignoring the leap his heart makes as his hand molds to the curve of Nix’s body. He then proceeds to wake his friend up with what is, apparently, Nix’s own piss.

  
There’s a short happy interlude. A Jeep ride during which Dick can gaze at the back of Nix’s head and the soft skin of his neck, when he can appreciate the occasional profile view of Nix’s face as pearls of wisdom are thrown over his shoulder. Dick may not actually be listening, but he’s paying attention.

  
He’s perfectly happy to watch Nix from afar. He’s been doing it since OCS. Before he even realized that he admired Nix far more than a friend ought to.

  
That said, the following five minutes in regiment HQ, and the presence of one Colonel Dobie, blows this sense of contentment all to hell.

  
Dobie’s dark gaze is on him at first, a slow, steady assessment. Then he’s eyeing Nix up and down, and for far too long. Dick starts looking forward to later when Nix will make a joke about this and they'll share a smile. But Nix is laughing into his coffee over something Dobie has said and they're staring at each other with a thinly veiled hunger.

  
Sink is now offering Nix to Dobie in all kinds of capacities and if Dick wasn't feeling so possessive over his best friend, he'd probably find it amusing.

  
He knows he’s grinding his teeth and he can feel a headache slowly inching its way from his jaw to his temples.

  
Strayer wants an itinerary – and now Sink wants a report – but Dick’s struggling to pay attention. He wants to turn around and track Dobie’s movements. Assess his intentions; and see whether they're mirrored in Nix’s eyes and body language.

  
All he can do in this conversation is repeat back Sink’s words: “Report, yes, Sir.”

  
There’s an embarrassing half second where he pauses, waiting for Nix, until he realizes his friend is headed someplace else. With Dobie.

  
The soldier in him understands that this is perfectly normal and necessary. The man is trying to understand why it feels as though a heavy weight is suddenly pressing down on his chest.

  
~  
 

It’s possible he’s getting better at this. There’s almost a full report in front of him, which is amazing, considering he’s been spending most of his time watching and waiting for Nix to walk through the door.

Perhaps this is what he’s been doing their entire friendship. Watching, waiting... taking Nix for granted. No: hoping Nix will make the first move.

It occurred to Dick – when not reliving that night at the Crossroads – that Nix may actually like men in general, and not just Dobie. That Nix might like his quiet, red-headed best friend just as much. Or more. The little glimmer of hope is extinguished before it sparks – if it was going to happen, says the pragmatist, it probably would have happened by now.

When Nix finally arrives, Dick wonders whether he’s always been this beautiful.

“So what do you think of Colonel Dobie?”

Dick looks up and catches his friend’s eyes. He’s painfully aware that Nix isn’t about to make fun of Dobie the way Dick hoped he would.

“Pretty fresh.”

Nix’s laugh lightens the whole room. “What?”

“Nothing.”

Nix gives him a quizzical look, and for the life of him Dick just can’t drop the subject now. “I’m sure Dobie knows his stuff. But, he, uh, he doesn’t seem to mind crowding people.”

Nix narrows his eyes like he can see straight through him. “Riiiight.” He draws out the word, which only serves to remind Dick of how unreasonable he’s being.

The obvious defense is the inevitable offense. “Well, anyway, you seemed to be getting along with him well enough.” There’s a bite to his usually soft words, and he’s angry with himself for saying it. Angry with Dobie for forcing his hand.

Nix’s eyebrows lift in surprise. After a long pause he drops his eyes. “Yeah, everything’s all set. Left him in Moose’s capable hands.”  
Dick is flooded with a sense of relief, and the weight lifts from his chest. Nix doesn’t want Dobie; it’s all been a figment of Dick’s imagination.

“I’ll go back and check in with him later.” Nix is licking stray whiskey off his fingers and at first Dick is distracted and doesn’t sense the danger.

“Moose?”

“No,” Nix says, twisting his flask closed. “Dobie.”

~

It’s like Nix said once: they’re Captains. Officers. Men with responsibilities. So, thinks Dick, if he can lead men into battle, then he should be brave enough to tell Nix he’s in love with him. But it’s not that simple, is it? There’s a whole host of reasons that he _shouldn’t_ , and bravery has nothing to do with any of them. Regulations, on the other hand…

Nix must be here. Dick’s looked almost everywhere else. He’s resigned himself to the fact that Nix and Dobie probably had to go over the extraction plan. But the sight that greets him when he walks in the room looks nothing like strategy and instead looks a hell of a lot like sex.

For a few very long seconds they don’t realize he’s there. It’s long enough to take in the darkened room, the air thick with lust, fans of papers across the floor which he can only imagine belong on the desk that Colonel Dobie currently has Nix pressed against.

  
Dobie’s arms are snaked around Nix’s waist and clasped at the small of his back as though Nix might bolt at any second. It seems unlikely when Nix has his hands buried in Dobie’s short hair and is bucking up into the rough press of Dobie’s hips.

They’re kissing deeply and it’s as though they could almost be fighting. But Dick is too close to be mistaken.

The only noise in the room is the rough catch of their clothes, the clank of their belts together. He wishes he could block out the muffled moans panted into each other’s months.

It’s overwhelming, and despite the desperate aching of his heart, his trousers start to feel uncomfortably tight.

He can almost see it now. How it got to this point. It started this morning in the HQ and now it’s come full circle. He sees them both leaning across a map, their heads close together. Dobie flirting with his eyes, Nix responding with clever words.

It might be wishful thinking but Dick imagines Dobie started it. That he was probably the one to initiate the first kiss. Then they would have come together, stumbling across the floor and ending up at the desk, Nix reaching back with his hands to steady himself and sending papers flying to the floor.

If it wasn’t exactly like that, Dick thinks it must have been something similar, because everything about the way they’re kissing right now implies as much.

He’s not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. In fact he’s sure these two men would call him naive. The thought that they’d talk about him, his inexperience, makes his stomach drop. He’s sure Nix wouldn’t. He trusts Nix with his life. But there’s a part of his brain that’s tormenting him with the idea.

He’s leaving. He really is, but Dobie chooses that moment to stop kissing Nix’s lips and dip his head to Nix’s neck. Suddenly dark eyes find him hovering in the gloomy doorway.

His heart seems to stop before panic kick starts it. A panic he sees reflected in the deep brown pools of Nix’s eyes.

Nix reacts quickly, making space between him and Dobie. Dick can’t understand how Nix can move so fast when he can’t move at all.

As soon as Nix shoves Dobie away, Dick can see how aroused Nix is. His eyes are shining and his shirt’s half undone, giving Dick a glimpse of creamy skin. His face is flushed and Dick can see the hardness pressing at the zip of his ODs. If it wasn’t all because of Dobie, Dick is sure he’d find it unbearably sexy.

“Nix?” And even to himself he sounds nothing but hurt. He feels so much more though. Angry, jealous, and even now he realizes it’s unjustified because he has absolutely no claim on this man. “I...”

He backs away almost hoping the scene will change before his eyes. It doesn’t.

“Shit,” Nix mutters.

Dick feels as though he should apologize. It’s probably entirely inappropriate but it’s the polite thing to do. The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, and as he looks at Nix, who seems in pain, Dick really means it. Then he catches Dobie’s face for the first time this evening. And he doesn’t feel so apologetic any more.

“Will you be joining us Captain?” Dobie says with a low huff of a laugh. His smirk makes Dick grateful that he didn’t bring his rifle.

Suddenly he can’t stand the heat of the room, the look of horror on Nix’s face, or the look of self-satisfaction on Dobie’s.

He practically bolts down the stairs. He has no idea where he’s headed, because he’s running from the very man he would normally run to.

He’s been in battle. He’s seen men killed. He’s killed men. Afterward, he’s always stolen a little time for himself, if for no other reason than to come to grips with the events of the day. Somehow, he can reconcile himself to battle, to death. But finding Nix in Dobie’s arms… as far as bad days go, this has to be one of the worst.

~

It’s his own fault. He’s made some mistake, somewhere along the line, because he honestly thought that he and Nix were coming closer together. That being more than friends was just a matter of time. Instead, they seem to be growing further apart. He can’t let that happen. Nix’s friendship, even if purely platonic, is just too important to him.

  
As relieved as he is when Pegasus succeeds, he’d rather just put _that day_ behind him. He needs to if he’s going to get any work done.

After fleeing the scene, he’d headed straight to his quarters. Lying in bed, he spent most of the night practically vibrating with adrenaline, torn between wanting Nix to turn up with an explanation on his lips and desperately hoping that Nix will stay away. His anxiety only grows when Nix doesn’t show up, because he can imagine the reason all too well.

Having avoided Nix as long as he can, he’s starting to realize that avoidance isn’t the answer. That night is replaying on a loop in his head, like a record skipping on the same line of a song over and over, ceaselessly. While the thought of facing Nix feels like a rock in his stomach, even more, Dick misses him. Burying his head in the sand hasn’t gotten him anywhere, and a good soldier knows when to change his plans, and how to do it on the fly.

Dick takes a deep breath, heads towards the makeshift office that Harry and Nix are using. He’s been staking it out, uselessly. Nothing will come of waiting.

Dick can hear Harry griping before he can see him.

“Do I really have to read all of that?”

“No. I spent two solid hours compiling it all so that you could scrunch it up and launch little paper balls at the Nazis.”

“Still better than Market-Garden.”

“Just read the damn thing, Harry.”

Nix’s voice sounds rough like he hasn’t slept much either. Dick bites down on his bottom lip – he really doesn’t want to think about the implications of that right now. He pushes open the door.

Both Harry and Nix turn to him, but he struggles to meet Nix’s eyes. He’s keenly aware of a flush across his skin, of a trickle of sweat as it makes its way between his shoulder blades. He can practically feel the tension radiating off of Nix.

“Thank the Lord,” Harry mutters, beaming up at Dick. “Salvation. Wait, you didn’t come to bring me more paperwork, did you?”

Dick can’t help but relax when Harry’s around, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be more grateful for it than he is right now.

“He’s in a terrible mood,” Harry continues, pointing at Nix. When Dick looks over, Nix is shooting a warning glare at Harry. “Well you are,” Harry states blandly. “Have you been keeping him away from your footlocker, or something?”

  
Dick knows this won’t go down well, not with Nix this tightly wound.

“That’s enough, Harry,” Nix practically growls.

“Jesus!” says Harry. “When did you last get laid?”

The words drop like a lead parachute in the room. The silence is so deafening that it pounds in Dick’s ears. He swears it feels like static is cracking around the room, can practically feel it when Harry realizes that the source of the tension is some unmentioned fight between Dick and Nix.

He’s looking from Dick to Nix and back again with a puzzled frown. With any luck Harry will think the tension comes from some other source. There’s no way he could know that his words have struck such a raw nerve.

Dick slowly turns to Nix, meeting his eyes for the first time since that night. _That_ night, when Dobie was devouring his neck, and Nix was panting. There’s no glint in Nix’s eyes today. They look empty and pleading.

Dick realizes it’s in his power to put a stop to this. To make this situation easier for all of them.

“Harry, Moose is looking for you. Better get moving.”

Harry darts out quicker than Dick can blink, patting Dick on the shoulder and looking like he’s been given a 48 hour pass.

Dick leans against the door frame, fatigue catching up with him. Nix looks down at the table.

“Are you here to tell me to pack my bags? Or am I just going to be shot?”

Of all the things Dick expected Nix to say, that wasn’t even on the list of possibilities.

“What?”

Nix looks straight at him, gives Dick a look like he’s being deliberately stupid.

Dick gets it, suddenly. “I haven’t reported you, Nix,” he says softly.

“Because you’re on a mission to save me from my raging homosexuality? Because if this is a religious thing, I’d rather be discharged. Or just shot.”

Dick just can’t read Nix right now. Normally, these words would sound like a joke. But his tone is cold and defensive. He’s drawing further away with every second.

“I’m not proud of myself, but this is me. Now you know”. Nix closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens his eyes as he exhales, meeting Dick’s eyes without a flinch.

“You can’t fix me, Dick.”

“Lew, stop it.” The pain and self-loathing he sees on Nix’s face are too much to bear, and he turns away.

The silence is heavy. “What exactly was that between you and Dobie?” It might hurt his pride but he has to know if that night meant something to Nix.

“Aside from the obvious?” Nix scoffs. _Well,_ Dick thinks, _I walked right into that one_. He turns back, meets Nix’s eyes again.

Those dark eyes boring into him are bright again. “It was....convenient.”

“Convenient?”

“Yes, Dick. Sorry to disappoint you, but not all sex is about love.”

There’s a hundred ways he could respond to this, and each could take them in a thousand different directions. But there’s only one way Dick _wants_ this to go. So he says, “Well, maybe you’re not doing it right.”

  
There’s a hint in there, if Nix wants to find it. Nix’s wry smile goes away as his mouth drops open, wordlessly.

Nix is clever. He doesn’t really need another hint, but the situation is too delicate to rely on the interpretation of semantics. “You chose the wrong man.”

There’s a long pause before Nix speaks again. “Yeah, well, he wasn’t my first choice.”

Dick struggles to draw a breath. Their eyes are locked and he wonders if they are having one of their silent conversations.

He thinks they’ve been having them for years. Dozens of them, but each time something must have been lost in translation.

It might have started in England. Before D Day. Sitting on crates and staring at the sky, and each other. In the silence he was really saying: _Yes, Chicago would be perfect. Take me there_. But it possibly wasn’t enough. Silence and patience have been, still are, his enemies here.

The breath Dick’s been holding escapes and he thinks he can risk the relief, the flutter of happiness in his chest. He can’t have misunderstood this time.

Nix takes a step, two steps, closer. “I thought you’d hate me if you knew. I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me.”

Dick snorts at the absurdity of the situation. For the first time today Dick sees a genuine smile on Nix’s face. It’s breathtaking.

“But you do?” Nix’s voice is low, and he’s still edging closer.

“Yeah, I do.”

Nix shakes his head a little but Dick doesn’t think Nix is disagreeing; he seems more… amazed. They’re so close now. Dick gently pushes off the door frame, stands even closer to Nix. It’s Nix that reaches out first. To touch him. He gently presses his palm to Dick’s cheek, looking at him through dark lashes.

“Dick, may I...?”

Thinking of all the missed opportunities, the best answer he can give is to lean forward and brush his lips to Lewis’. The kiss is just a feather touch but it sends little electric currents to his toes and he involuntarily backs off an inch in surprise.

Before Nix can worry, he leans in again, smiling against Nix’s lips.

“Goddamn it, Dick,” Nix laughs, resting their foreheads together and wrapping his arms around him. “I need a drink. Come and pretend to have a drink with me.”

Their faces are still so close, and the burning in Nix’s eyes is intense.

"I’ll be honest, Nix – I’m a little reluctant to move.” Nix’s warmth is seeping through to his skin and the last time he was this happy they must have been Stateside. Maybe never.

“Not going anywhere,” says Nix. His eyes are pleading. Not for forgiveness now, but for something else. And they’re making promises too. Promises of something Dick never thought he’d have. It’s incredibly tantalizing. And… inspirational.

  
He takes half a step back, places his hands on Nix’s biceps and squeezes slightly. The rest of the room comes back into focus quickly and he realizes how stupid they’re being. How careless. Any moment, Harry might wander back in, demanding to know why Dick sent him on a false errand. He can see Nix going through the same mental process.

“Yeah, let’s go,” agrees Nix.

“Quarters,” says Dick. “I have VAT 69 in my footlocker and a lock on my door. And the guy I usually bunk with has vanished.”

“I hear he’s been sleeping in his office,” says Nix.

“Not very cozy there.”

Nix barks out a little laugh, interlacing his fingers with Dick’s. “Oh, so we can laugh about that night now can we?” Dick loves hearing the lightness in his voice again.

  
“Well, I can. You can’t. Not yet.”

“Fair enough.”

~

The way Nix’s lips wrap around the neck of the whiskey bottle make Dick shiver, and he can’t tear his eyes away as Nix sets the bottle down.

Nix knows exactly the effect he’s having on him, too, if the mischievous smirk on his face is anything to go by. Nix pours them both a drink, and quirks his eyebrow in surprise as Dick picks up his glass and then downs the whiskey in a single gulp. If ever there was a time to drink, thinks Dick, it’s now: he drinks to celebrate.

  
It’s still unfamiliar, though, and the hard burn of alcohol makes him sputter and gasp a bit. Nix gives him an indulgent little smile, much like the smiles Dick usually gives him.

Truth be told, Dick is happy that they’re not in Nix’s office, and not just because of the lack of a lock on the door: he doesn’t think he would enjoy seeing that desk again, even knowing what he knows now. That he’s Nix’s first choice, always has been. Still, a sour thought niggles at him. This isn’t just him punishing himself anymore; he genuinely needs to know.

“So, did, uh, did Dobie stay with you the other night?” He’s surprised how high his voice sounds. Even so, he’s pretty sure it’s pure nerves, not an effect of the whiskey.

Nix’s gaze doesn’t waver. “No. He left just after you did.” He sips from his glass. “I asked him to leave.”

As Nix leans in and rests his hand on Dick’s knee, Dick has to ask the question. “Nix – this is… this is more than… convenience… isn’t it?”

If the answer isn’t what he wants to hear, maybe he’ll just take what he can get. What Nix can offer. But he knows nothing would be the same again.

Nix actually looks offended. “How can you ask me that? I could never hurt you.”

Dick stays quiet, plays with his glass – but he believes Nix entirely.

Nix puts his hands over Dick’s, gently.

“Dick, trust me on this. I’ve wanted you since Toccoa. I know I’ve been an idiot – the other night was spectacularly stupid – but you don’t need to ask what you mean to me. You never have. This isn’t convenience, and believe me, it’s not just lust, either.” Nix pauses. “I grant you, there’s a healthy amount of lust, but not only that.”

Dick has very little time for the words to sink in: Nix practically climbs onto his lap, long limbs curving around him. Nix’s lips find the sensitive skin behind Dick’s ear, and he starts placing little open-mouthed kisses there.

Dick hears a little moan, and is shocked to realize it’s him. Admittedly, he hasn’t done this much. He tried kissing a couple of times back home, both girls as nervous as he was, so it didn’t get very far. He’s pretty sure, though, that he never uttered a sound with either of them. Neither of them had the effect on him that Nix does.

Dick finds his hands sliding up Nix’s sides, then down again, and running across the curve of Nix’s buttocks. Nix pants in his ear at the touch and Dick can feel the blood pooling in his groin.

With embarrassingly little will power, he gives into the overwhelming urge to just _push_. Nix’s hips press down into his, and it makes them both utter sharp little delighted noises – a surprised hiss in Nix’s case, another groan in his own.

He can feel the hard line of Nix’s cock against his. It’s perfect. He moves against Nix again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Nix murmurs, head bent as he mouths Dick’s collar bone.

The chair creaks ominously. Dick feels more than hears the laugh against his neck. He’s not surprised that sex with Lew involves talk and laughter, he’s just surprised at how easy this is.

“This chair’s not going to last much longer,” breathes Nix.

“Good thing the bed’s right there.” Neither of them moves, though, and it’s not until the chair gives a firmer warning of imminent collapse that they stand. Well, Dick stands, and Nix practically collapses against him. Dick’s fine with that. He guides Nix to the bed, Nix’s fingers flexing into Dick’s shoulders. Dick’s done something like this before, but usually it was simply to make sure that Nix made it to bed, period. There was never a question of joining him there.

  
Nix lies back, and Dick sits back, drinking in the sight of him. He takes his time, trying to imagine the bared body beneath the now-rumpled uniform. When his gaze travels back up Nix’s chest, Nix looks uncharacteristically coy.

“Lew, are you blushing?”

The look on Nix’s face is priceless. “No!” he blurts. “I mean... no!”

Dick chuckles and runs his fingers down Nix’s neck. “I beg to differ.”

Nix narrows his eyes and sucks in a breath. “Maybe.” His voice is heavy with want. “A little.”

“More than a little.”

Dick settles into the natural groove between Nix’s legs, delighting in the noise Nix makes as their hips reconnect.

Nix grabs his collar and pulls himself up to capture Dick’s lips with his own. The press of lips is sure and hungry and Dick opens his mouth so their tongues can slide. It’s so good, his whole body is humming with desire; he can barely think. When Dick licks Nix’s bottom lip, he tastes like whiskey. He lingers, delighting in every scent, in even the lightest touch.

He lingers too long, apparently, because Nix gets impatient, rolls him over, and pins Dick to the bed, pressing down so their chests touch and their thighs touch and Dick thinks that _oh, that is definitely worth a dishonorable discharge_.

There’s heat and pressure and Nix’s hair is so gorgeously mussed; dark and thick and Dick can’t help burying his fingers in it, grasping a fistful of strands when Nix groans low and rocks down onto him again.

  
He unclenches his hand and winces in sympathy.

“Sorry,” he manages to gasp out.

“No, don’t be. Do it again.”

A demanding Nix is an intoxicating one, and Dick’s never been known to disobey an order. He wants to find out how Nix likes to be touched everywhere – knowing that Nix likes his hair tugged is sexier than he could have imagined.

Clever hands have worked their way through all of his buttons and are now tugging his shirt open.  
Nix kisses him again, flicking his tongue into Dick’s expectant mouth.

Dick can feel Nix palming a hand down his chest, in the gap between fabric. The hand continues its path down his stomach and rests at his belt as though waiting for permission.

Nix backs off, dragging his teeth across Dick’s lower lip. Dick shivers as Nix scans his face.

“Do you…?”

“Don’t you?” Dick teases.

Nix quirks a wicked smile and sits up, straddling Dick so he can pull his own shirt off.

He goes to reach for Dick’s belt but Dick grabs his wrist.

“Wait,” he whispers. He’s not having second thoughts; he just needs a minute to touch the expanse of bare skin in front of him.

He splays out his fingers, trying to touch it all. Warm, smooth, taut skin that he must have seen dozens of times before. When he glances up Nix looks ridiculously amused.

“Come on Dick, quit stalling. Time for all that later.”

And that’s a wonderful thought.

He lets Nix unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down. Nix shifts down the bed, playfully nipping his naval, then the inside of his thigh.

He toys with the waist band of Dick’s underwear and the wait is agonizing. This must be payback. Dick props himself up on his elbows to look down, but the sight of Nix so close to his clothed erection is just too much.

When the boxers finally go, Dick groans as cool air hits his sensitized skin and he lets himself fall back onto the mattress.

“Fuck,” Nix hisses.

He’s naked and exposed but safe, because Nix has warm hands curved around his hip bones, grounding him.

Dick groans as he watches Nix bring his hand up to his mouth, running his thumb over his bottom lip before wetting it with his tongue.

It’s obscene, and dizzying, and just Nix. He brings his hand down, and runs his wet thumb along the underside of Dick’s erection.

It sends a surge of pleasure through him and his hips buck up. Nix is watching him with something like wonder in his eyes and Dick has to screw his own eyes shut for fear of getting too close. Too aroused and too near the edge. He wonders where his famed self-control has run off to when he needs it most.

Nix’s hand wraps around him and slides up the length, thumbing the slit.

He’s making indecipherable noises and has to start counting to ten to calm the hammering of his heart.

“Not enough,” Nix whispers.

“No, it’s enough. S’good.”

There isn’t the time to work out why Nix looks so intent, before he feels the heat of Nix’s mouth on him. Warm and wet and _suction_ have him arching up.

Nix pulls back, guiding Dick’s hips back to the mattress with an expression of mock reprimand.

“Sorry,” he’s murmuring again but he can’t bring himself to really mean it.

“Stop apologizing.”

“Stop stopping.”

He bites his bottom lip, enjoying the groan that surely means Nix is spirally out of control too.

He watches that smart handsome head move back down to take him in again, this time sliding right down. And this time he doesn’t stop. His fingers grasp him at the base and caress any flesh Nix isn’t sucking or licking as he pulls back each time.

Dick’s grip on the sheets is the only thing anchoring him to reality. As he sucks in a breath, he’s not sure he can handle another look down at Nix, who is sure to be looking sexy as hell, but he just can’t miss this.

The decision is made for him when his eyes fly open at the feel of Nix gently trailing two fingers back, skating past his balls to his opening.

Nix’s own hips are twitching and grinding down into the mattress.

But Dick is consumed by the press of fingers as they circle and massage his opening. They’re slick with what he thinks must be pre come and saliva, and God this is so much better than he thought it could be.

He rasps out a moan and he can feel his orgasm rushing up on him. All he can think is that this is Nix. His Nix, whom he thought he’d lost.

Nix releases the hand that’s been wrapped tight around Dick and pushes it down between the mattress and his stomach to grasp and squeeze his own erection. In that split second, knowing how turned on Nix is tips Dick over the edge.

“Lew –” he shouts, releasing into Nix’s throat and trying not to force all of himself into Nix’s welcoming mouth.

The vibrations when Nix moans around his cock are amazing and he starts to control his breathing and unwind the tense coil of his body. He lets his limbs sink into the blankets.

Nix sits up, licking his lips. Dick shudders, feeling a pleasant tingle in his stomach.

“Lew, I –”

“Dick, if you’re going to apologize again, I swear I’m going to –”

Dick shuts him up with a thumb across his lips, now plump with blood. Nix shudders and gasps at that simple touch.

Nix’s hot breath raises goosebumps on Dick’s skin. He slides up so he’s sitting against the head of the bed, and moves his hand to shift the damp tendrils of hair off Nix’s forehead.

This is all so unfamiliar to him, he doesn’t know what to do next. He’s happy to watch Nix’s smile through his post-orgasmic haze, but just watching makes him feel selfish.

Their relationship is all about give and take, so...

“So, do you want me to...?” Dick starts quietly, a little bashful.

Nix laughs, full and happy. “Nah. That was enough for me.”

Dick’s eyes widen as he realizes what Nix means. The thought that Nix enjoyed this enough to come is a welcome confidence boost. And, frankly, it’s making his cock twitch already.

  
If Nix has noticed, he’s let it go without a tease, and goes to move off the bed.

“You ok, Nix?”

“Sticky.”

Dick winces in sympathy. Nix launches his discarded shirt at his face, before presumably starting his search for a washcloth. By the time Dick’s extricated himself from the shirt, Nix is out of his field of vision.

  
A few minutes later, Nix lays down next to him. Dick knows now why men would risk their careers for this. He would risk a lot more. Holding Nix in his arms is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“I should have known,” Nix says, tracing Dick’s jaw as they turn to face each other. Dick frowns in confusion. “That you’d feel that good,” Nix clarifies. “That it would be so good with you.”

Dick revels in the words for a moment, surprised he doesn’t feel more embarrassed.

“Well,” Dick grins. “I told you that you haven’t been doing it right. The best sex is about love.”

Nix is kissing a soft trail across Dick’s chest, and he hums in agreement. Dick can feel the low thrum throughout his body.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Nix says, resting his forehead on Dick’s chest. “I’ve just been waiting for you.”

Dick’s heart swells and Nix slowly looks up to meet his eyes.

“Tell me this isn’t all because of the other night, Dick. If this is going to work it needs to be more than that.”

Nix is right, but he won’t find a lack of commitment in Dick. Even if he looks a whole lifetime.

“I’ve loved you a lot longer than that. I was on my way to tell you that night.”

Nix’s brow crinkles like Dick’s words are a physical blow. Dick gets it; the events of last night led to another 24 hours of wasted happiness, on top of all the other days and chances that have passed them by.

Nix goes to speak, but Dick cuts him off. “If you’re about to apologize,” he says, smiling. “It doesn’t matter now.”

Nix smiles, and resumes his tender exploration of Dick’s upper body as they rest in the comforting quiet.

“People will find out,” says Dick. “I’m a bad liar.”

“No, you’re a terrible liar,” Nix says. “But it’ll be fine.” Dick is pretty sure he’s not really paying attention.

It takes a lot of willpower, but he shifts away enough that Nix gets the hint. He retreats a little and waits for Dick to speak.

“Harry will know,” Dick says pointedly.

Nix snorts and interlaces their fingers. “Nah, he’s not the suspicious type. Besides, I’ve built a very believable cover story. Harry’s convinced I have a girl in Aldbourne.” He chuckles.

The truth is if anyone finds out, possibly save for Harry, there’d be consequences. Jail time, maybe. They’d definitely be cashiered out of the Army. The boys in Easy might not understand, but they would cover for them. Sink is another matter. The Colonel lets them get away with a lot as it is; but where, exactly, would he draw the line?

He’s startled out of his thoughts by Nix quickly scrambling to a sitting position, looking like a cat that’s spotted a mouse.

It’s then that he registers the soft knocking on the door, and jumps up.

He knows the door is locked, but the thought doesn’t slow the blood pounding through his veins.

The sound of Harry’s muffled voice floats through the room. “Dick, you awake?”

It’s Harry: Harry, who will understand. Dick’s relief is immense. “What is it, Harry?” His tone is gravelly and he hopes Harry will assume he’s been asleep.

“Sink wants you at HQ.”

Dick sighs. Nix has his shirt back on and buttoned; now he’s working on smoothing his hair out. The result is a delicious failure.

Dick follows suit, dressing quickly and trying not to be distracted by Nix, who seems unbelievably calm and is looking him up and down as though he might pounce at any moment.

“All right, wait a second,” Dick calls through the door.

“Hey, Dick, have you seen Nix anywhere? I’ve tried all of his other usual haunts.”

As weird as it is talking to Harry through a door, it gives Nix and Dick a moment to conspire in whispers.

“I haven’t seen you,” Dick hisses.

“That’ll sound weirder than me just being here,” Nix whispers back. “Besides, how are you going to leave without him seeing me?”

Dick doesn’t like it, and he hopes his glare communicates it, but he sees the logic.

“He’s here, Harry. Drinking my footlocker,” he calls out.

Silently appraising each other’s appearance and deciding that they will pass inspection, Nix unlocks the door.

Harry’s smirking. “Needed to lock the door to drink?”

Dick’s sure he blushes. Not an auspicious start to their secret relationship.

They all crowd in the hallway, where Dick catches Harry winking at Nix.

“Girl in Aldbourne, huh? Very convincing,” Dick says in exasperation. Nix shrugs, looking unconcerned.

“He’s a worse liar than you are,” Harry says, eyes twinkling. “The best part is that he doesn’t know it.”

Dick controls the tiny smile that threatens to creep onto his face. “I’m not going to like what you’re going to say next, am I, Harry?”

“Sadly, no,” Harry says cheerfully. “Sink’s after you. He was muttering something about paperwork.”

Dick nods, and Harry thumps Nix on the shoulder before he continues. “And Nix, that Brit Dobie is looking for you.”

Nix stills, physically tense where Dick can feel their arms brushing, but his tone is calm. “Tell him I’m busy. Dick needs me at HQ.” Nix grins. “Dobie’s supposed to liaise with Moose anyhow.”

As Nix gently ushers him out to the street and away from Harry’s grinning face, Dick thinks he’d happily live yesterday ten times over for another day like today. What makes everything so wonderful is that he won’t have to. No more days like that one, ever again.

The three officers quick-march in perfect unison to Sink’s office. There’s nothing particularly noticeable about them, or their destination. Strictly routine. It’s just a normal day.

 **Notes** If you'd like to chat, have a fic prompt, or want to ask me anything at all, you can find me on Tumblr here: little-lottie.tumblr.com


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